Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
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