would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
PANTIES FOUND
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
