I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
