Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
