So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
