THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
