The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
