Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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