i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
