i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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