If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
