they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
