Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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