YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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