We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
