I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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