I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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