based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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