Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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