Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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