We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Don't make out with my wife yet
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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