i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
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