he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
