hell yes lets make some ravioli
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
