so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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