As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
