oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
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I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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