i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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