omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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