And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
