Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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