That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
