Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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