I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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