Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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