I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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