I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
