I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
