We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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