Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
