I don't think brook has ever known best
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize