I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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