I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
