Moan for me like Helen Keller
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
