she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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