I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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