i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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