That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize