Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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