He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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