Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
