I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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