yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
