Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
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