I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
