I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
