you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
