Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
