i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
