I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
