At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
