its not stalking. its research.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
