So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
