Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize