If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize