Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
